Heteronormative dating

When you're gay on Valentine's Day, you are constantly reminded of the lack of representation of men and women just like you in advertising, marketing campaigns and even in the terrible shopping catalogs that get sent to your apartment.

When you're gay on Valentine's Day and are bombarded with heteronormative scenery — from the couples kissing in the street and holding hands to the men buying gifts in the form of oversized teddy bears and chocolate — you look at yourself and wonder where you went wrong.

It’s a long and academic-sounding word, but it’s pushed its way into public conversation recently.

And like many other jargon-y words that surround queer theory, the concept is a little bit hard to get a grasp on.

The term “heteronormative” is used to describe a culture or belief system which assumes that heterosexuality is the norm.

Queer folks, trans folks, and folks of color are inherently outside of the demands of heteronormativity.You deviate from this heteronormative standard by being non-binary, or even simply performing gender in a way that doesn’t subscribe to a strict separation of “man” or “woman” (and the assumption that “masculinity” should only be performed by the former and “femininity” by the latter).I’m a gender that falls outside “boy” or “girl,” which single-handedly destroys the concept of a binary.In a society with heteronormative values, all people are assumed to be heterosexual.Most such societies also have a binary view of gender which divides people up as either male or female.

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