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“It's because she is 20 years older than me that a lot of people say, 'this relationship can't be tenable, it can't be possible.'” While there are always exceptions to the rule, research has shown that certain age gaps are more likely to end in tears.

According to a study conducted by Emory University in Atlanta, the bigger the difference the bigger the chance of separation.

Let’s take a look at a technique for assessing the suitability of a date from a different life-stage. It can be helpful to assess someone’s life-stage based on their perspective on these four factors: The research tells us that, generally speaking, in our 20’s, we tend to prioritise fun and fitness, in our 30’s, fun and family take priority and in our 40’s we are more focused on family and finance.

So this can create potential barriers when dating people in the life-stage above or below us.

Although comedians joke about these relationships, a significant age difference doesn’t make a relationship any less real or meaningful, though it may create some challenges that don’t exist when romantic partners are close in age.

Navigating the social ramifications of your relationship while struggling with generation gaps can be tough, but a significant age difference can give you the chance to consider new perspectives and appreciate the offerings of a different generation.

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“The heart wants what to heart wants” and “age is just a number” are well-versed cliché’s - and you just can’t help who you fall head over heels for.

It never occurred to me that it was uncommon to have decade-older best friends until I entered into middle school, which was around the same time I was also rudely awakened to the sexism already conditioned into many of my peers.

As a young person, I had a significant and persistent love for Dana Scully, which I later understood as an early queer curiosity, but I was also a very late bloomer who didn’t date a boy until I was 20, and didn’t date a woman until years after that.

Is there something intrinsic to queer culture that is conducive to age gaps between partners?

And what is it about older women that’s so damn appealing to me?

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